Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Visual Dare 5: Waiting


Here is your weekly Visual Dare! You can use this photo in one of two ways:

     * incorporate it into your current Work In Progress - literally, or figuratively
     * use it as a 100 word flash fiction to get the brain going in a different creative direction.

Give it a try! Feel free to post your creative responses to the prompt in the comments below (if it's 100 words or less, plus personal comments, of course!).

Here's your dare:



Photo by: Weichuan Liu



Where does this take your writing - even for a short burst?
Let me know in the comments - in summary or 100 word excerpts!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

50 comments:

  1. The way ahead was often unclear, as if a sea fog had rolled in and blanketed all the colours and signposts. The path didn’t appear straight either; she seemed to bounce from one great idea to another. Grasping at straws, nothing ever completed.
    Would her life forever be like this she wondered?
    Suddenly a shadowy figure came into view and she jumped. The fog suddenly dispersed as if blown by a powerful fan.
    Everything was suddenly brighter, more dazzling. The road before her would never be conventional but he would hold her hand and together they could enjoy the journey.

    100 words

    Loved the pictured Angela hope you like my 100 words, they follow on from a conversation I had with a friend today. I shall now "dare" her to read it!

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    1. Ah, how lovely! I find that my best flash fiction comes when it builds off something that's playing out in real life - and you certainly captured that moment! Thanks for taking the dare! :D

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    2. Sarah, I agree with Angela. Lovely:))

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    3. This is a lovely picture! I agree, lovely! That's the best word for this :)

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    4. Beautifully and so succinctly written Sarah. You have dared me to read and I have taken up the challenge.

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    5. Here is my attempt

      He stood awhile on the drizzle drenched jetty, tracing the entwined iron diamonds holding fast the rails that led to her. Sensing her sure and solid gaze through the enveloping mist he picked up pace again.
      She stood tall, swollen with her secret love as her pencil thin pine peers, preened and pirouetted around her. As he drew closer the spineless Princesses, each vying for his hand, began spinning until they drilled themselves into the soft island soil.
      Their way had never needed clearing he thought as he took her hand and love cushioned they tumbled amongst the pine needles.

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  2. Her feet slapped the bridge, water spittling out from under each heavy step. She hunched her shoulders under the umbrella as the rain drummed down. Her face flinched as his words spat through her mind. A gust of wind caught the umbrella, she watched it slip from her grip and dance away in the river – free, flowing. Tearing off her coat, the rain's fingers felt fresh on her skin. She climbed the fence, balanced a moment, then dropped. A figure nearby, hearing the splash, came running. She gargled out a laugh. She didn't need saving. She was waving not drowning.
    (100 words)

    Ooh - thanks for the prompt (and encouragement from Sarah!) this is my first bit of 'flashing' - not done it before!! But as it's The National Day... ;)

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    1. You should "flash" more often Sharon that was great! xx

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    2. Sharon, your flash here is wonderful. I can feel the rain and the gray of the day in your words...and the ending is perfect. Really really well done!

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    3. That was a first flash entry?! You can't tell! I love how you draw the reader into the woman's mindset without ever actually getting "in her head."

      Great work, Sharon - thanks for participating!

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    4. I love the free spirit you captured here. Nice job!!

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    5. Fantastic first flash - alliterative and poetic.

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  3. If I stand here for a few more moments, when I go back home, it won’t be true. Today looks like, feels like just another day. He didn’t want his coat but I put it in the car for him, just in case. It can’t be true. They’ve made a mistake, I’m sure they have. I packed his lunch. I told him that his dentist appointment was tomorrow. I can’t call the dentist, what would I say? The police must be wrong – it must be someone else. Why would he have been on that road? I didn’t kiss him goodbye.

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    1. Oh JOANNE you've ripped my heart out AGAIN.....but in a totally awesome way. How do you do this so consistently, every time, shooting to the marrow of the human condition? Beautiful, beautiful work.

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    2. I agree with Angela one zillion percent! You have a way of taking the painful realities of life and writing them with beauty and compassion.

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    3. I remember the day the dentist called to remind my husband his appointment was due, I had to tell them he had died a couple of weeks earlier and felt so bad.
      Your writing reminded me of those early days of disbelief and you have captured the raw emotions beautifully.

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  4. There is no one left alive to notice me, at least not over there.

    Dusk is fading to black, and the storm moving in. Quite unlikely anyone will find the bodies until at least tomorrow, or the bloody footprints washed away by the rain.

    Had I known the task would be so easy, I would never have waited this long. Tonight, at last, I will rest in peace; sleep for the first time in months. No more voices, no more shadows in the room, or scurrying sounds in the walls.

    Tonight, darkness can be afraid of me for a change.


    100 words

    Lovecraft/King approach to flash fiction? Feeble attempt, anyway.

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    1. Feeble? This is magnificent! There is a whole BOOK behind this and I want to read it!!!!

      Thanks for participating! I hope to see more of your work on following Wednesdays here -- Visual Dares happen every Wednesday here, not just on National Flash Fiction Day!

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    2. This is a wonderful flash fiction story - I am really moved and the last line is a stunner. I agree with Angela, there is a whole book in this but I can also say that with this one short work, you have told a life's story.

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    3. Not a thing feeble here. It's heartwrenching and so well written. I really really like this!

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  5. He's stood out there again. Just looking. I'll go and get him. At least he's remembered an umbrella this time. That's progress. Or at least not a deterioration. They said that "Hold onto the days when he doesn't deteriorate. They are the good ones."

    I slip my coat on and walk down the jetty, deliberatly letting my rubber boots squeak on the wet wood, so I don't surprise him. He turns to me, smiling.

    "Hello, pet."

    "Come in, Dad, you'll get cold. Mum's not out on the boat today. Come indoors".

    He doesn't know she's dead.

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    1. Heartbreakingly beautiful. Cameron, this is wonderful. There is a whole story - a short story, at least - lurking behind this one. I hope you have a chance to do more with it!

      Thanks for participating --- and for already becoming one of my Visual Dare regulars. :)

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    2. Oh, how sad. You've given a full picture of heartache in such a short space. Well done!!!

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    3. Thank you both - yes, that would be a very sad short. I might file it away for future use.

      Altzheimers as a blessing in disguise? hmmmmm

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    4. simply beautiful so much of a tale in so few words

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  6. Dawn struggled to lift night’s misty cloak as Mr. Halston paced to the end of the pier, measured steps between wrought iron diamonds. There, he paused beneath his plaid umbrella, unfocused eyes staring across the glassy expanse of quiet water.

    In his mind, the fish still leapt – here and gone in surprising splashes; red/white bobbers sent out perfect concentric ripples of success. But where now was the impatient tap of worn shoes, the laughing freckles and unruly hair?

    Years ago and far away.

    He was too comfortable here to cross an ocean. But the son of his son liked fish.

    100 words
    @Rowanwolf66

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    1. O my cow - this has such an aura of mystery surrounding it. Love it!! Beautiful and understated, like a simple, stunning dress.

      Thanks for participating! I hope I see more of your workmanship in future Visual Dares. :D

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    2. Oh just out of the blue excess info... this photo brought to mind "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" dunno why but you made me re-read it LOL. Thank you!

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    3. You had me right from the first sentence. I am in love with that sentence. And J. Alfred Prufrock is one of my favorites!!!

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    4. The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock! WOW I have not read that one in ages....need to go read it again. Thanks for the reminder!!

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    5. The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock has always been a fave!! :)

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  7. I'm not sure if there's a time limit for this, but I'll post anyway (please don't shoot me!)

    There’s a haze in my life, like that around me, obscuring my thoughts and bleaching my sense.
    All clear; hope, had clung comatose in a faultless once ‘love.’
    Had.
    I drop the umbrella and the water breaks and ripples in protest. Splashes touch my face but I feel nothing.
    How long since I last felt something? Since something could whisper a little emotion into this abandoned heart?
    I am already drizzled wet when I kneel down and meet my weathered self. His hair is matted to his scalp and his eyes are a shamed lead.
    As if repentance could resurrect.

    100 words
    @Afsaneh_Dreams

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    1. I like how the rhythm you created suits so well to the story. Full of sad emotion with that last haunting sentence. Nice job!!!

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    2. O goodness I wasn't clear about the timing ---- so sorry! Visual Dares are up for a whole week - from Tuesday midnight till the next Tuesday midnight! It usually gets the most tweets on Wednesday because that is when it is first posted.

      You can drop on in ANY TIME in the week and wow us with your flash fiction. :)

      Speaking of which, I do love what you've done here - it's almost poetry, a smidge stream-of-conscience. Well done!

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  8. Thank you so much for this prompt! I haven't written in days, but that picture is gorgous. :)

    Nothing allows her to revel in the pain quite like a foggy day. In a haze she makes her way down to the water’s edge. The heavy air surrounds her and clings to exposed skin like a watery kiss. Mom and Dad say time heals all wounds, but they don’t understand. It is here where he was said they would meet; she had her bags packed ready to climb aboard his boat and sail away with him. A first love lasts forever. She knows that now. He may be gone, but in her heart he lives on .

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    1. Ahhhh Lillie I love your writing style! So poignant, such aching in those words. Love love love this! :D

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    2. there seems to be rather a log of FOG around this week Lillie but it makes for lovely atmospheric settings for lots of heartbreaking stories

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  9. What a fabulous idea for stimulating inspiration and imagination, Angela! I could stare at that photo all day and imagine many different scenarios--most of them filled with sadness and longing.

    Just discovered your blog (followed link on blogroll) and so glad I did. I look forward to browsing through your posts. :)

    --Susan

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    1. So glad you found my blog! And feel free to join in on any Visual Dare - or just come and stare at the pretty photos. It's all good!

      Welcome aboard! :)

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  10. Here is my attempt

    He stood awhile on the drizzle drenched jetty, tracing the entwined iron diamonds holding fast the rails that led to her. Sensing her sure and solid gaze through the enveloping mist he picked up pace again.
    She stood tall, swollen with her secret love as her pencil thin pine peers, preened and pirouetted around her. As he drew closer the spineless Princesses, each vying for his hand, began spinning until they drilled themselves into the soft island soil.
    Their way had never needed clearing he thought as he took her hand and love cushioned they tumbled amongst the pine needles.

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    1. Amazing Alliteration Anmelia
      so glad you picked up my challenge and took up Angela's dare
      you will come back next week won't you? :-) xx

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    2. Thank you for 'daring' me to start writing again. Looking forward to next week already!

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    3. Oooooooo I like this - so mysterious and foreboding. I smell a fairy tale about to overtake the puruser....WOW.

      I'm a sucker for alliteration too. Nice touch. :D

      So glad to meet you, Anmelia --- hope to find you back here again next Wednesday for the next prompt! Welcome aboard!!!

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    5. Oh, see this is beautiful! No other word for it! *attempts to steal talent surreptitiously* ;)

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  11. Sorry I seem to have added my attempt twice. I am a newbie and trying to find my way around.

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    1. I don't see a replicated post ---- doesn't matter! I'm glad you found your way here. :)

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    2. Good to meet you too. I have had rather a long lull from writing maybe that is why I am seeing double!! Thanks for the writing exercises I certainly need to exercise my imagination and ideas. I am a sucker for a fairy tale.

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  12. So I came out here, to the end of nowhere, or is it the start of somewhere? I wore shoes for traveling and a coat to keep warm. I suppose I thought that if I made the effort, you’d meet halfway but halfway is still too far, isn’t it? Well, the walk was good and the view is fine and I have this sturdy umbrella to shelter my shattered pride. They said it was going to be cold this winter. If only I’d brought my gloves.

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    1. Ah. So lovely - as usual, Ruth. A hurtful moment captured so beautifully.......love this!!

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